Featured Educator of the Month: Beverly Burns

Beverly Burns, Prevention First’s Featured Educator of the Month for February 2012!

Beverly is a model employee. She not only does what is required of her, but goes above and beyond in many ways to help out her fellow Education Specialists, other co-workers, and of course, her community. Beverly has a passion for helping others and also for laughing. Beverly brings friendliness and joy to Prevention First every single day, and that is why we honor her. Below is a Q&A session with Beverly, so you can truly understand the reasons she works so hard.

What made you want to work for a non-profit like Prevention First?

I lived in Germany for 15 years and worked with special needs children and teens. After doing a very intense training, I came back to the U.S. to help take care of my parents. After they passed, I began looking for work and a director at Prevention First told me of a part-time opening for a Life Skills teacher in Special Education. I was hired and worked with Helen Varvi, then director of Youth Services. I really liked the work I was doing. I was working on Project Oz, which is a life skills education program for special needs elementary school students. After working part time for three months, I was offered a full time position. I am very comfortable in a non-profit atmosphere as I ‘ve worked for private schools and assisted-living communities for special needs adults and children my whole life.

What is your favorite memory/experience from a Prevention First program you presented?

My favorite memory is any of the Laughter workshops and trainings I’ve offered to adults, children and seniors. The look of joy and laughter coming from their faces and body language is worth a thousand words!  It’s priceless!

What is your favorite Prevention First program to present and why?

My absolute favorite program is Laughter Yoga. I developed it and market it myself through Prevention First, giving workshops and trainings as well. I also enjoy Project Oz, which the agency now offers by contract to schools with special needs classes.  The Botwin Life Skills Training for 3^rd through 5^th grade is up there too.   I feel very connected to the Strengthening Families grant-funded program, where we work with at-risk families for 7-14 weeks. I enjoy working with the parents as well as teens and small children in this program.  It’s really hard to say which my favorite is as I love teaching Life Skills!

How did you originally become involved in Laughter Yoga?

While in transition in Germany, looking for another job and wrestling with whether to return to the states, I took a Laughter Yoga Leader Training in Germany with Dr. Madan Kataria, the founder of Laughter Yoga.  That was in late 2002 and I was hooked on laughter and its numerous effects on the body and mind ever since!   I thought it was one of the best trainings I ever took. It was something anybody could do and in a short amount of time, experience more happiness, more wellness and more social skills. Shortly after that, when I returned to America, I took another Laughter Yoga Leader training by an American psychotherapist, a follower of Dr. Kataria’s. When I got the job at Prevention First, I discussed with the Adult Services director the idea of offering a three-hour workshop in Laughter Yoga at the Prevention First Training Institute, which was approved. I have since done workshops, assemblies and seminars in Laughter Yoga and have been able to bring the program to many communities in Monmouth and Ocean counties. These audiences have included elementary and high school students, assisted-living seniors and cancer survivors, as well as teachers, social workers and, of course, prevention and treatment specialists.

 Where would you like to see Laughter Yoga go in the future?

                In 2010, I was fortunate enough to go to a five-day Laughter Yoga Teacher Training in Chicago and had the chance to work with Dr. Kataria again. I went so I could offer the2 day Certified Laughter Yoga Leader Training here at Prevention First.  I since have trained about 37 Laughter Leaders and am looking forward  to giving  others the tools to become Laughter Yoga Leaders in New Jersey and the northeastern region.  Six of the Leaders are on our own staff and my hope is that they can bring the techniques to other programs they’re doing.

Is there anything else you would like to mention?

I‘ve really enjoyed being a co-facilitator of the Chess Child programs, which I began early on in my career at Prevention First.  I believe that chess gives children necessary life skills like focus, patience and sportsmanship.  Also, I have really grown with Prevention First’s anti-bullying programs like ’What If’, Courageous Kids, and Cyber-bullying.   I welcome opportunities to implement and develop new programs at Prevention First that will continue to enhance the resilience of at-risk communities in our areas.

Click here to see Beverly in action with her Laughter Yoga classes on ABC!

Some of Beverly’s favorite quotes include:

“We must be the change we wish to see in the world” -Ghandi

“Laughter is a gift everyone should open.” -Unknown

“Some pursue happiness, others create it.” -Unknown

“Be Happiness itself” -Buddha

“Sun demands no reason to shine.  Water demands no reason to flow.  A child demands no reason to be happy.  Why do we need a reason to laugh?” -Dr. Madan Kataria

“Laughter is the brush that sweeps away the cobwebs of the heart.” -Unknown

“Though you might hear laughin’ spinnin’ swingin’ madly across the sun, it’s not aimed at anyone, it’s just escapin’ on the run.” -Bob Dylan-‘Mr. Tambourine Man’

“It’s easier to maintain the illusion of control if you hold on to the handle.” -Unknown

“But it’s more fun if you just let the wind carry you.” -Unknown

 ”In the true adult there is a child concealed who wants to play!”

 ”Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad.” -Norm Papernick

“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.  Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.” -H. Jackson Browne

“No snowflake ever falls in the wrong place.” -Zen proverb

 ”Life is too short to hold a grudge, also too long.” -Robert Brault

 ”There are some remedies worse than the disease.” -Publilius Syrus

“Just living is not enough.  One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.” -Hans Christian Andersen

“Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars.” -Henry Van Dyke

“Give us Lord, a bit o’sun, A bit o’work, and a bit o’fun, Give us all in the struggle and sputter, Our daily bread and a bit o’butter.” -from a pub in Lancaster, England

“Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.” -Brendan Gill

“Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.” -Cynthia Nelms

“Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you’d left open.” -John Barrymore

“Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” -Nathaniel Hawthorne

“If you search the world for happiness, you may find it in the end, for the world is round and will lead you back to your door.” -Robert Brault

“Most people are more comfortable with old problems rather than with new solutions.” -Unknown

“Happiness is the feeling you’re feeling when you want to keep feeling it.” -Unknown

“What a pity human beings can’t exactly how to solve the other fellow’s.” -Olin Miller

“If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise.” -Johann von Goethe

“Do the best you can, and be good to yourself so that you can above all be good to others.” -Jessi Lane Adams

“Dreams are free, so free your dreams.” -Astrid Alauda

“There is no personal charm so great as the charm of a cheerful temperament.” -Henry Van Dyke

“Instead of complaining that the rosebush is full of thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses.” -Proverb

“Life: It is about the gift, not the package it comes in.” -Dennis P. Costae, Jr.

“The only way to have a life is to commit to it like crazy.” -Angelina Jolie

“What a wonderful life I’ve had!  I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” -Colette

“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” -Berke Breathed

“How often one sees people looking far and wide for what they are holding in their hands?” -Augustus William hare

“Happiness held is the seed; happiness shared is the flower.” -Anonymous

“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” -Mark Twain

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” -Henry Ford

“There is no effect more disproportionate to its cause than the happiness bestowed by a small compliment.” -Robert Brault

“Pay attention to your dreams-God’s angels often speak directly to our hearts when we are asleep.” -Eileen Elias Freeman

“To succeed in life you need three things: A wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone.” -Reba McEntire

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.” -James Oppenheim

“There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness.” -Lady Blessington

“Cheerfulness is what greases the axles of the world.  Don’t go through life creaking.” -H.W.Byles

“There is a strange reluctance on the part of most people to admit that they enjoy life.” -William Lyon Phelps

“All the knowledge I possess everyone else can acquire, but my heart is all my own.” -Johann von Goethe

“The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking.” -J.K. Galbraith

“Don’t’ find fault.  Find a remedy.” -Henry Ford

“Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.” -Cicero

“One filled with joy preaches without preaching.” -Mother Teresa

Prevention WORKS

I always think about certain students and how I wish I could know where and how they are after my time with them is over. Last week, I was in an elementary school that is, for lack of a better word, “challenging.” I was in between classes when I saw a girl coming down the stairs looking very dejected. When she looked up I could see that it was a student I had had in a class in another school last spring. She was a wonderful child and my time with her was positive.

Running toward me, she looked like she saw a ghost (a good one) and just started telling me that her teacher simply told her to just “get out” with others that sat around her. She insisted that he did not even give her a chance to explain and I could tell that she was giving up and ready to cause more trouble for herself with her behavior.

This is a good kid who was put into an impossible situation with the environment she had moved into in this new school. “These kids don’t care and the teachers don’t even listen and I hate it here!” is what she was telling me in a very defeated voice. I reminded her what we learned in BABES and Life Skills, that she needed to think of what was best for her. She proceeded to repeat to me some of the tools I had taught her and remembered to ask for help on how to keep on the good track she was on. She told me she had her old teacher’s email and was going to write to her that evening.

I could see she felt so much more in control. I reminded her that she was important as she turned around and went upstairs to ask to speak to her teacher.

I love my job and it was wonderful to get the chance to see when and how it works!

To read letters from some of the children in the BABES program, click here.

Best,

Jill Tabakman, BA, CPS

Education Specialist

Tragedy Strikes – and we could have avoided it!

When asked why the Safe Dates curriculum should be taught in the schools, I can think of  many reasons. Unfortunately one of these reasons is so that we can avoid the  needless and senseless death of young people. This morning NBC’s Today’s Show covered the death of 18-year-old Lauren Ashley from Massachusetts, who was allegedly killed by her boyfriend of three years, Nathan Fajita. Lauren had just graduated from high school and was to attend college this fall. Nathan was the star football player at the high school they both attended.

Laurens body was found in the woods – apparently strangled by a bungee cord and her throat slashed. Police had enough evidence to arrest 17-year-old Nathan Fajita for her murder. Lauren had recently ended the relationship.

I am glad that the Today’s Show aired this story. The coverage featured two experts discussing why a boyfriend would do this. One of the experts, a criminal profiler, cited power and control. The other expert, a psychiatrist, said the boyfriend might have some mental health issues – he could have been depressed and just snapped in a “fit of passion.”

Although I feel that the first expert was right, I must respectfully disagree with the psychiatrist and would like to address some her statements, which are typical of the myths associated with dating violence and domestic violence.

• It was not because of mental illness or depression – many people suffer from depression and other mental disorders and don’t strangle or cut their partners throat.
• This young man did not “just snap”… Lauren and her boyfriend were together for three years. As in many abusive relationships he had probably threatened to hurt or kill her prior to carrying his threat out.

It is about power and control. One partner begins to control the other, like telling him or her what to wear or isolating him or her from friends and family while at the same time telling him or her “I love you”. Nathan was the star football player at the high school – most likely viewed as a good guy – a jock. Abusers are often people who we least suspect are abusers.

• Abuse is not caused by mental illness
• Abuse is not caused by drugs and alcohol
• Abuse is not caused by anger or stress
• Abuse is not caused by a “fit of passion” – there is nothing passionate about slitting someone’s throat.
• Abuse is not caused by the victim
• Abuse is not caused by problems in the relationship.
• Abuse is about power and control – if I can’t have you no one else can.

Victims of dating abuse and domestic violence are at the highest risk of being hurt or killed when they attempt to leave their partner. Unfortunately Lauren probably did not know that. That is why it is critical that dating violence prevention is taught is schools. If she had learned about healthy relationships, maybe Lauren would still be with us.

Stop Dating Violence Poster Exhibit

As told by Prevention First’s very own Karen Gillespie:

Last Tuesday June 14^th was the 3^rd annual “Stop Dating Violence” Poster Exhibit at the Shore Institute of Contemporary Arts (SICA), in Long Branch. The event went extremely well. I was surprised by the number of students who attended, even though many of them had exams the next day! It is nice to see how excited the students are to show their families their winning posters. All of the families stayed to listen to the speaker from 180 Turning Lives Around inform parents about dating abuse. The families couldn’t thank us enough for the food and for the event. They were not in any hurry to leave!

If you’ve ever planned a large event, you know that there is a lot of work that goes on behind the scenes to make it all work – and that is where it would have been impossible for me to have done this event alone.  So with that in mind I need to thank some of Prevention First’s staff, including Nicki for her creative ordering of teen type foods and her organizing the entire pick up and delivery of the food and the set up. Thanks too to Nicki, Jess M. and Jess F. for lifting, carrying, schlepping and squeezing every last space out of their cars to make this all happen… and for the very late and giddy clean up of the event. Nickis plan ahead of time to have sandwich bags for leftovers and Jess F. brought food back to the office after the event when her head should have been on her pillow. You all rock!

Once again – a great event but I could never ever have done it without the Prevention First staff – I‘d still be at SICA cleaning up! Thanks again to all of my co-workers at PF that come together as a team to make all of our events at Prevention First successful!

Hugs,

Karen

Laughter Yoga

As told by Prevention First’s very own Beverly Burns:

On Saturday, June 11, and Sunday, June 12, sixteen participants and myself met to practice laughing exercises created by a medical doctor in Mumbai India, Dr.  Madan Kataria.  Laughter Yoga groups for therapy and fun have been sweeping the globe since 1995 in over 65 countries where there are over 6,000 laughter clubs and workshops.

The group learned to laugh together and alone for no reason, because we do not rely on humor, jokes or funny movies.  It’s based on the scientific fact that the body will produce the ‘feel-good’ hormones like Endorphins and Serotonin and the pain-killer Dopamine whether the laughing comes from regular joking or simulated playfulness.  Our brain gets the message: ‘I feel great!’ either way.

Laughter Yoga has at least 5 benefits.

1. It changes your mood from sad, tired, grumpy to feeling relaxed and happy.
2. It increases positive social skills because you do it in a group and look at other people and interact (The mirror neurons in our brain mirror what we see and we feel happier when everyone else is doing it –that’s why laughing is contagious!
3. It helps our health because the deep diaphragm breathing strengthens our immune system against upper respitory infections, increased blood flow lessens arthritic pain, increased oxygen can help us create the Killer T-cells needed to fight disease(cancer) of all kinds and it lowers high blood pressure. Increased oxygen to the brain can help Alzheimer and Dementia  patients.
4. At work, because our brain has been getting increased oxygen (it needs 25% more than the rest of the organs of our bodies) our work performance and problem solving skills  increase as well as how well we get along with our co-workers.
5. Resiliency to stress, sorrows, and challenges we face increases and we find more inner strength to carry on than before.

The group practiced 4 sessions of how to conduct  Laugh Therapy (Yoga) exercises and  relaxation techniques.  By Sunday at 4pm, each participant smilingly received a well deserved CEU certificate from Prevention First and a Laughter Yoga Leader Certificate from Dr. Kataria from India.

There were many belly laughs and much fun was had by all.

Jess Ford, from our staff, also participated and was a great help to me as I facilitated the two days.  Congratulations Jess!

Laughing your way there is not such a bad way to get certified after all!

Remember to laugh a lot and stay positive for your health!

Join us on Monday, October 18 for the 2010 Annual Golf Outing!

MONDAY, OCTOBER 18, 2010
EAGLE OAKS GOLF CLUB
Farmingdale, NJ

Lunch & Awards Reception Only $95
PLAYER FEE $345

To purchase sponsorships or pay for your player fee, click here. http://bit.ly/ahOcTo

Includes golfer gift, green fees, golf cart, locker, practice range, breakfast, golf course refreshments, lunch and awards reception.

Your Player Fee includes a Nicklaus Hybrid Rescue Club with head cover

PRIZE
CLOSEST TO THE PIN
MEN’S AND WOMEN’S LONGEST DRIVE
TEAM LOW GROSS – 1st, 2nd, 3rd

FORMAT:
Modified Scramble
Appropriate golf attire
expected all day.

Soft spikes are
mandatory at
Eagle Oaks Golf Club

THANK YOU TIM MCGRAW!

As a charity that benefited from the recent Tim McGraw concert, I want to publicly say “Thank you Tim McGraw!”  To paraphrase a quote, “…the character of a man can be judged by what he does when no one is looking…” is more than appropriate in this instance.  Tim McGraw was not asked to assist Prevention First, they offered.

On behalf of those many young people who will benefit from our drug and violence prevention services – thank you from the bottom of our heart.

God bless you Tim McGraw!

Sincerely,

Mary Pat Angelini

Executive Director

732-663-1800 ext. 215

You won’t want to miss THIS menu!

At the Come Together gala this year, Avenue will be cooking up the most delicious fare you can think of!

Appetizers? Tuna Tar-tine (shaved vegetables, lemon vinaigrette, fresh herbs, and crostini), Wild Mushroom Tart (mornay sauce, Parmesan, and tarragon) , Rock Shrimp Quiche (fresh herbs quiche), Arancini (fried risotto balls with Parmesan cheese), Warm Ratatouille Salade (zucchini, yellow squash, and tomatoes).

For dinner? Passed petit entrees like Salmon (with artichokes, peas, spinach, and truffled nage) and Chicken (roasted, potato puree, roasted vegetables, and red wine reduction), and even a Prime Rib (jus, roasted potatoes) carving station, and a pasta station with Penne Primavera (olive oil and herbs),

Throw in a mixed green salad and you definitely don’t want to miss this menu!

Click here to purchase your tickets to Come Together now! http://bit.ly/cDV8Tv

DRIVE TO THE HOOP THANKS!

Prevention First would like to take a minute to thank all of our wonderful sponsors, our players, and our volunteers who came out on Saturday to enjoy the fun at Monmouth University. Congratulations to the division winners, and we hope everyone had as much fun as we did!

Dear Editor,

Saying the words “thank you” just doesn’t seem sufficient to express our gratitude to all those who have assisted Prevention First during this year.  Providing programs and services that work to keep our children drug-free continued to be the focus of our mission.  In 2009, our dedicated staff and volunteers worked with over 10,000 children and families throughout all of Monmouth County.

Unfortunately, Prevention First, like many other local charities, is not in isolation when it comes to the economy.  The downward spiral has had its impact on us from various levels.  But that will not deter us from our continued commitment to provide our essential prevention programs in the future.

I invite you to contact us and learn how you can join Prevention First as a partner in prevention in your home, school and neighborhood.  It is only when we work together that we will reap the rewards of a healthy, safe and drug-free community.

During this holiday season the staff and Board of Trustees of Prevention First wish to thank all those who helped us work with children and families to be healthy, safe and drug free! God Bless you and we look forward to your continued support in 2010!

Sincerely,

Mary Pat Angelini

Executive Director

732-663-1800 ext. 215